Have you ever told a lie?
If you answered “no” then you probably just did. As children, we all more than likely did lie when asked questions like,” Did you do that?” It is not unusual for young children to try and get out of having done something like taking an extra cookie, not washing their hands or whether they really ate their spinach. I can clearly remember one night at the dinner table stuffing that cooked spinach between a piece of white Wonder Bread in an attempt to conceal it as proof that I had actually eaten it.
Today, either because I finally like spinach or because my brain has grown a conscience, I don’t lie about eating my veggies. As adults, things are different. In normal human development, our brains grow as we age as does our conscience – that kind of second brain that tells us the difference between right and wrong. As we reach nine years of age, we can clearly and boldly begin to share with our elders that we don’t like spinach. The answer from the parent’s side is usually the same. Eat it so you will grow big and strong. Was that a lie, the truth, or plain manipulation?
As adults with fully developed brains, we choose whether to speak and share the truth or create false statements. In thinking about the world as it is today, we 2 gals asked ourselves why do adults lie. Since no one is perfect, we have probably all done something in our youth that we would not do again. We learned our lesson, have grown from the experience, and understand that even white lies matter.
Some adults may choose to lie in error or to avoid punishment like, “Officer, I was only going 25 mph.” Or, we may lie to be polite or tactful like explaining how busy you are if you really don’t want to go to that party or event. You might exaggerate about the size of the fish that you caught or the shark that you saw that day. These are what we call “White Lies.” In other words, no one really got hurt by them and we may even lie to benefit others and protect them from being hurt.
More serious lies can be made through broken promises or by starting rumors about someone else. These begin to fall into a “grey area” where actual damage can be done, and, because these lies are intentional, can be hurtful to the recipient.
Bold Face lies are not the same as the little white lies of our youth. The difference is that white lies can be kind lies but bold face lies are told to directly harm others. These lies contain deception, false statements, and have a deliberate intent to deceive. Many narcissists lie to exercise power over others or to avoid their own embarrassment. This kind of lying is generally fueled by a sense of low self-esteem and can become habitual. Compulsive lying starts simply and grows into a lifetime of lying behavior. It is a one-way street where there is no turning back as one lie leads to another and to another. And as this behavior becomes second nature, it becomes difficult to remember all the lies. Mark Twain once said:
“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” So true.
Usually, the chronic or compulsive liar has not experienced a normal, developed sense of conscience and, because of this, they construct a lifestyle of deliberate untruth and falsehoods. There is generally a pattern of not taking responsibility for their behavior and blame is eagerly put on others. The polygraph test was developed in the early 1900’s because society found that a certain segment of the population did not exhibit a conscience when it came to lying.
So, why are we addressing lying in this blog?
Well, it just seemed appropriate this week. As the Senate Impeachment Trial begins, we will watch as it unfolds and see if the glove fits the hand. In other words, will the lies find a place to land or will the truth prevail? As always, we at 2Gal4Peace have hope that the Constitution will remain intact while this Administration rips at it with their talons. Let us all keep working to save the Truth. Rev. King, as we pay homage to your memory, may we hold tight to our values and remember in the words of Mahatma Gandhi:
Truth never damages a cause that is just.
And remember…
“I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality… I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Be Kind & Speak the Truth
2Gals4Peace
