As a family, we are adapting or trying to adapt to this new “abnormal”, as we call it. Our fear comes in waves. Our normal structure of volunteer work, socialization, and down time have all disappeared. Suddenly, we have no structure. We are told to stay home. Grocery shopping and picking up medication only at a distance and at a risk. The indicators that define the days of the week or the time of day are missing. No reason to set the alarm clock or complain about having to get up early. That is gone. Our bodies started to tell us to go to sleep when it got dark and to wake when the light came up. We were sensing this like our elder dog who has been doing this for some time.
We are having a hard time seeing anything in our offices as important. The daily news briefings and waking to the news became our day. Maggie usually writes and had been working on a couple of books and this ceased. It is hard to create in an atmosphere of fear and uncertainty. Maggie got back to her roots of being a Nurse and a Clinical Social Worker. She has been a resource for neighbors. She signed up to volunteer with the Medical Reserve Corps (MRC) to do work from home. And she protected our family. She emotionally supported her Nurse colleagues fighting this war without the proper equipment to do so. She saw a picture of nurses wearing trash bags for PPE and was disgusted. We wondered why, when we send soldiers into combat, they are fully equipped with all the necessary gear and more but our frontline medical staffs are not fully protected. The politicians continue to do very little as scientists, doctors and nurses pleaded for the proper equipment. As the White House focused on the financial toll, many died. Many patients have died and medical personnel are beginning to be impacted by the coronavirus as well. As Reagan did during the time of the AIDS epidemic, Trump ignored pleas for supplies, like respirators and masks, that sit unused in stockpiles. States have been forced to go to “auction” for medical equipment and were many times outbid by FEMA and foreign countries. Wartime laws that could have been used to manufacture equipment were not initiated. What a travesty! The leadership is non-existent and we have a President who seems to enjoy watching people fight and, eventually, in some cases die. He thinks that he is a King and a very bad one at that. Some, and we agree, believe his behaviors are that of the devil.
Today, the far right is telling those over 65 years of age to go back to work to upright this country’s economy. We were told two weeks ago by a Texas leader that many elderly would need to die to bring back the economy. This is what we are living with today. And, we are living with a President who does not refute these claims or comments. He calls names and makes jokes. And, by saying nothing, he continues to support hate.
These times apparently bring out the best and the worst in people. Every day we see the good that our medical professionals are doing. When they work with patients, they may ask their blood type but never if they are a Democrat or a Republican. Nurses and Doctors serve people equally. That is the oath that they have taken. They do their work and never leave their post. If you are a Nurse or a Doctor, you are our heroes.
So, now what do we do at home? We soothe each other, our families, our friends and our pets. We develop a structure to keep the days from running into each other. We exercise in place, read, or learn a new language, and we watch our computers or televisions. And we wait. We all heard that cities do not have enough masks. Although Trump has war powers, he is not using them. We have a horrible feeling that he wants us to die, many of us. Without federal guidelines, the states are struggling. Having to pick and choose who gets tested and when to test is now commonplace and restrictive. This is America and we now, as of March 27, 2020, have more cases of this virus than any country in the world. What were we thinking? What was this White House thinking when it disbanded the pandemic office in 2018 that President Obama had put together? What were you thinking, President Trump? How do you claim to know it all and yet know nothing? The daily outrage over the handling of this crisis continues. And we wait.
