(A reflection from Maggie…) Andrea and I are now over two weeks into the distancing and isolation. A week ago, I awoke at 3am worried about the “supply chain.” How are we going to continue to get groceries and other needed items?! From a sleepy haze, I tried to solve this problem. Maybe this will be the rebirth and return of the American farmer. Having solved that problem, I eventually fell back to sleep.
For those of you who aren’t “Preppers” (Survivalists) or don’t live on a functioning farm, you may be asking the same question. But hopefully not at 3:00 a.m. or at least we hope not. We do hope after we are on the other side of this crisis that we think differently about how we do many things and adjust accordingly. In the meantime, we stay at home, work from home if we can, and/or carefully go out. We have heard back from many of you who are working long hours from home. One friend is taking on growing a large vegetable garden. We wish we lived close to him. Another is now fostering a dog and others are doing good deeds. We put a sign out in front of our house today thanking Nurses.
For other friends, cabin fever may have set in early. Some of you have shared that you have had to painfully delay “elective” surgery, postpone trips, and education while dealing with imposed restrictions on going outside and feeling a loss of freedom which adds to the isolation. “Cabin Fever” is a term that was previously and primarily reserved for events like snowstorms and the like. This is our big snowstorm. Many years ago, when there were still “Blue Laws,” Sunday drives filled that slow day. It was a fun treat. We took a Sunday drive last Thursday, staying in the car, just so we could see the world beyond our driveway. A friend of ours took her dog for a Sunday drive. It is good for the soul no matter what day it is and makes us grateful for the simple things.
We remain sad that we can’t continue our volunteer work with those deserving organizations. This has been our way of giving our time and energy in order to give back to others. Instead, right now we feel rather than actively volunteering we are doing what is necessary and isolating in order to ensure that we and others remain safe and healthy. So, if you are practicing distancing or staying in your home, remember you too are giving back.
We appreciate that we are all experiencing different stages of trauma and grief from this pandemic. As stoic as many of us are, we find this enormous social change to be challenging. If you live alone, it may be a different experience from being with a partner or family. If you live up north, you are now coming out of winter and the birds are returning as are the longer days. In Florida, the sunlight helps. All of us together are experiencing the acute stage of this crisis through our own lenses. At some point, maybe months from now, this will move from an acute to a chronic situation. As it does, we think that we will become more creative with developing our own survival skills. In the meantime, at home we have learned to take turns with our down moments. If we need to, we take turns grieving about what we feel we have lost like when we miss things as simple as going to the movies or having friends over. We have cried and that feels okay and necessary. A hug goes a long way.
As our hair grows long and some of it is gray, I am hopeful that we all will find ways to deal with our boredom. Last week we painted our mailbox. We had been putting that off for a while. This week some more paperwork. We are trying to save our backyard mango tree from mealybugs – yuck! If anyone has any ideas about that, please let us know what they are. Find any excuse to connect with people. People that you haven’t heard from or called in a while. We will continue writing to you because we want and need the connection. We all need each other now more than ever. As we were recently discussing, we may all look a little ugly with our homemade haircuts at the end of this, but we will be beautifully alive!
Helpful Steps for Surviving the ordeal of Trauma and Grief:
- Maintain your Safety and Stability
- Allow yourself to Grieve
- Find ways to keep Relationships alive
- And as always…Be Kind
You are in our thoughts and we feel connected to you as we go through this together and from afar.
